Relationship Advice: Meeting The Parents

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Butterflies, nervousness, and anxiety, just some of the feelings you and your partner might experience the day you decide to introduce them to your family. If things are serious between you this is the day he/she potentially meets their future in laws, if not then it’s a sign that things are definitely becoming more serious. There is a whole lot of pressure for everything to go ok and for your family to like them.

The first time I met my boyfriend’s parents his dad was really nice and told my boyfriend to make sure he looked after me. His mum, on the other hand, was a bit more intimidating. She was nice to me telling me that if I needed anything I could come to her. But she also gave me the sex talk. It was the most awkward experience of my life. She was saying how I should wait as he would respect me more for it, but by this point it was already too late (she did not need to know that).  I really did not want her to think I was just any girl to him because I liked him a lot. In time she came around (less scary sex talks, more hugs) and has realised that I do really care about her son and now I’m comfortable enough to stay at his parents’ house even when he’s not there, it’s lovely.

In past relationships I was pretty confident with meeting the parents, just made sure I dressed conservatively, smiled a lot, engaged in conversation with them and tried to get the awkward ordeal over as soon as possible. Most of the time it worked out and their parents liked me, but when it’s the person you want to spend your life with its a little more nerve wracking.

Based on what I have heard from friends, there are other things to consider when meeting the parents. There are cultural issues to be aware of, for instance in Nigerian families you are supposed to curtsey to the men in the family as a sign of respect (something it might have benefitted me to know). Some mothers expect you to help around the house whenever you go round to prove you can look after their son and are more than just a guest (a rule I think is silly because you ARE a guest and I would not randomly start cleaning up in someone else’s house). Apparently flirting with one of your partner’s parents is acceptable (to me this is a very disturbing concept).

Basically there are a lot of rules and you should tailor these to your situation and the kind of people your partners parents are. Ask your other half what their parents like and what would make them respect you and support your relationship. Be yourself! At the end of the day if you pretend to be someone you are not it will only backfire and make you look like a liar or crazy person (never a good look). So tread carefully and good luck!

Meeting the parents is just one step closer to making it official and getting married, here are my thoughts on the institution of marriage.

Things are going great within your relationship and now you’re having a baby, but pregnancy may not be all you expected it to be. Here are some of the more unspoken truths about pregnancy.



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