What You Hope NOT To Expect When You’re Expecting

Motherhood is supposedly nature at its finest. You glow during the miracle process of creating life. Some would describe pregnancy as the experience that defines your status as a ‘real’ woman, but for some, pregnancy is something of an inconvenience, a terrifying ordeal, and something that will test your competency in raising a ‘perfect’ child. Pressure much?

So to lighten the mood a little, I thought I would expose some of the delightful side effects of pregnancy that most people would never tell you about. Health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com, Sarah Jio, talks about a disturbing ‘pregnancy rash’ she experienced, which involved hive like bumps all over her body known as PUPPP (Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy); this condition is very rare and the cause is unknown. Thankfully the bumps disappear after the birth; some women find the itchiness so unbearable they even go through induced labour, just to get rid of them! My friend grossed me out completely, talking about the build-up of nine months’ worth of periods that you experience in one go after the baby is born. Yuck! Sarah also discusses how she had to pee every hour, which meant being sleep deprived, the baby kicking your bladder can also make you lose all bladder function, so get those Tena Lady’s ready! According to doctors, in some cases stretch marks are unpreventable, but can fade over time. You may also want to invest in some breast pads, as your boobs can leak a milky discharge known as colostrum in the later stages of your pregnancy.

Creator of Women Thinking Inc, Elyse Anders highlights the issue of swelling, swelling EVERYWHERE even down there. This can be very painful, and may drastically reduce your partner’s chances of getting laid. Morning sickness is a misleading concept; it is actually all day sickness and can last for the duration of your pregnancy. Elyse also raises the point, that doctors will advise you not to use toilet roll just after you’ve had the baby, as wiping can irritate the area, so instead you feel like showering after every toilet trip, from the amount of blood you produce. Nice! The Nickelodeon Parents Connect website suggests some other enjoyable aspects of pregnancy: long, thick hair growth everywhere; sweet-smelling flatulence; increased klutziness; second trimester horniness (this one’s not that bad); resentment towards your partner (he is responsible for all of this, after all); new veins appearing everywhere (another sexy addition to your vagina). There is also the chance of melasma (dark blotches over your skin), which usually fade after the birth.

Now for some helpful info:  According to successful lingerie company, Bravissimo, midwives only recommend non-wired bras, as majority of women are wearing the wrong bra size, and if the bra is too small it can cut in and affect your ability to express milk. However, if your bra is correctly fitted, it is perfectly safe. So the choice is yours between underwired and soft cup bras. The main signs to look out for when checking if your bra fits include: the back being firm but comfortable, and not riding up your back. The wires at the front of the bra sitting flat against your breast bone, between your boobs. The wires of the cup fully enclosing your whole boob, without there being any breast tissue trapped or bulging out of the cup, and without there being excess space or puckering fabric.

Pregnancy isn’t all doom and gloom, so here are some upsides to the miracle of life. “The best part about pregnancy, are all the little movements you feel leading up to the moment where the doctor hands you your new baby that you fall instantly head over heels for”, says mum of three Helen. “Surprisingly enough having all these new womanly curves made me feel super sexy”, says new mum Ann. “Having a baby made me and my partner much closer, there’s something about knowing you’re about to become a family”, says mum of two Jessica. “The look of joy on my mum’s face when I told her the news was priceless” says proud mum Roshni. Pregnancy is an experience like no other so regardless of the hiccups along the way make the most of it and good luck yummy mummy!

Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy? Don’t worry you have options.

Some mamas have no problem handling their business after they have children. Check out my profile on the Queen B herself, Beyonce.



  1. jerseycargo pregnant aerobics · December 21, 2013

    Holy crap! I just stumbled upon this and felt I was checking out something I could have composed without understanding it! Everything you said about why you began this blog site is why I have.

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